Wednesday, 12 December 2012

The half listeners.....

Now I realise that this image could have many meanings when it comes down to it, but it fits what I have been trying to put into words for a few days.  You see when it comes to people there are a certain group out there that I would like to refer to as 'the half listeners' that drive me absolutely nuts!  So this shovel is for them.....

I understand that all people show concern for a loved one, friend, frienemy, acquaintance, family member, etc differently.  Some people have no idea how to deal so they distance themselves.  There are others that you suddenly hear from that you haven't been in contact with for years.  Then of course there are the people that have always been there for you and always will be no matter what is happening in their life or yours.

Those that I wish to hit with the shovel can fall into any of these categories.  It isn't that they are being fake, or at least I hope that isn't the case.  What frustrates me the most about the ones I have in my life right now are that they are people very close to me that like to talk.  Some, I would even say, are gossips.  That doesn't make me love/like/care for them any less.  What drives me so mad about this is that they are telling people things about me that aren't complete; they are spreading half truths which to me might as well be a lie!

If I tell you that I am going to have 4 injections of ipi each one being 3 weeks apart how hard is that to understand?  How many times do you have to keep asking me about when I am done?  Can you not count?  Is what is happening to me not important enough for you to pay attention to the answers I give you after you ask the questions?

I know that I have to repeat information about my life to many people over and over again.  The hardest part for most to wrap their heads around is what the treatments do and how it is that the drugs work on Melanoma.  That doesn't mean that if you are a person that I talk to on a regular basis that I want to answer the same 5 questions all the time!

No surgery is not an option, and may never be!  I am not planning on going back to work anytime soon, it isn't something high on my priority list to think about right now so stop asking!  Yes I am done my current treatment, this doesn't mean I am done all treatments it is just a break until we have a scan and see what has happened!  They haven't told me how much time I have, all I know is I have time so I want to use it the best I can!  I had a steal rod put in my right femur, this doesn't make me a cripple it makes me bionic!!

The thing that annoys me the most is if they have to ask these same questions over and over again then what have they told the people they talk to?  How many people that are their friends think I am on deaths door with no other treatment options?  That I am incapacitated with 2 young children because I had to have surgery on my leg and that now that I am alone for a few days since my mother has already flown to NB I will be helpless without her?  How many of these people are then seeing other people I know and then asking them if it is true?  Oh wait I know this happens because I get phone calls, emails, text messages, facebook messages asking me if these things are true so I do know it is happening.  And guess what?  I want it to stop!!!

These half listeners are going to make me stop telling them things just to save my own sanity!!  It also makes me wonder if they have always been like this or if it just their way of coping with all of this or if for some it is just an age thing? All I know for sure is that it is infuriating to have people ask me questions about my health and well being and then not care to listen to the answers!!  How bloody hard is it to actively listen to what you are being told?

It is obviously really hard for some people or I wouldn't be wanting to hit and bury them with my shovel!!  I know what I am telling them is important and the facts as I know them.  I know that is what they have asked about and that is why I am telling them the information.  I know that a lot of it is over the common persons head as it is over my head until I look it up or ask follow up questions.  I also know without a doubt that if the half listeners don't soon get their shit together and actually LISTEN to what they are being told then I am going to stop answering their questions because it is just futile. 

I may not be responsible for you to understand what I have said but I do deserve the respect of you to listen to the answers you  have asked for!!!  If you can understand that then maybe you best think before you ask another question for the millionth time and still don't have the courtesy to listen to the answer!  I want for it to be known that I am going to start asking if you listened the first 50 times before I decided whether or not you deserve to hear it again, because this is getting ridiculous.  Not to mention a waste of my time and breath!!  

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